Thanks for the hope

Hey everyone. You may see some of the pics and a video I am trying to upload of Sara's hiccups and wonder- how can she look so good and be so bad? According to the neurologists, all that is good about her right now, vitals and reflexes, are functioning out of the brain stem - which is not damaged. As she progresses, the top of the brain will begin to develop and take over those primitive functions and suppress them. This is normal and should happen. But that is where the damage is and there is no way to predict how normal functioning will be impaired. As early as 33-34 weeks when suck, swallow, breathe coordination begins to show we may begin to see signs. Maybe earlier if the damage is more extensive.

In her favor, she is very young and her brain is very pliable and resilient. Other parts of the brain could take up those operations for the time. On the other hand, not only is the stroke, or as they call it - infraction, a problem but the blood is also in the tissue. The doctor is very confident the blood will drain, especially with the reservoir put in. But the blood in the brain tissue is like putting a drop of water on a sugar cube. There is damage left behind when the blood is absorbed. How much? We won't know until further MRI's and CAT scans are done in the next few days and weeks.

I'll be honest, the picture painted by the dr's and nurses is very very bleak. I know they have to speak from their training and experience. But as I posted earlier, God has the final word. And this is the tension we are living in right now. To have the medical tests and facts staring you in the face, while walking with and serving a God who does the impossible. Can God heal her? Yes. Will He? Only He knows. What best will give Him glory and make His name known among the nations - I wish I knew. As one pastor friend advised me today, when the storm is the darkest, step out of the storm look to God and ask - How does it look up there?

If the tears of a mother could heal a child, Sara would never be sick for the rest of her life. Pray for Jennifer (I and a few others call her Jenny). Pray for God to give her rest, peace, hope, and comfort. Pray for God to speak very clearly to her heart and reassure her of His love and plan for all of this. Pray for our two daughters. Pray for our doctors and nurses. I know it is their job, but they don't enjoy this either. We may have some hard decisions to make in the next few days and weeks, and all the options stink. Pray God would speak clearly to us so we know that our decisions are His will - that is all we want.

All of your comments, emails, phone calls, meals, cards, prayers, and support are what give us a hope only surpassed by our God of hope. There is not much hope floating around our child in the NICU. Thanks for caring, posting, and praying.